Divorce Mediation Lawyer against DIY Divorce in California

When it comes to hiring a divorce mediation lawyer in California, the couples’ most popular response is this or a variant: There is nothing left between us, nothing which someone can mediate about, and therefore we do not need divorce mediation in Los Angeles, CA. This thread of thinking unites many, and otherwise diverse, couples in California. If only things were that simple. 

The reality of DIY divorces is anything but pretty. It is not uncommon for undone paperwork to accumulate and filings to get rejected. Spouses spend an inordinate amount of time in courts trying to fix mistakes. In fact there are many counties in California where special programs are run just to help couples who for one reasons or another decided to go the way of a DIY divorce and then found themselves stuck in the system. The stories of people staying lost for years are not uncommon. 

For the unfortunate souls who started down this path, the only way out was to pay an attorney—exactly the thing they decided not to do in the first place.

Tangled cases is not the only downside of DIY divorced. There is another and graver hazard. 

For anything deciding to choose and DIY divorce over divorce mediation in California, here is a bad news: you may not get the opportunity to be heard that you are legally entitled to. And the fault is not entirely yours because you are not an expert in mediating in divorces. Yet the consequences of your decision are both real and potentially devastating.

You can end up in penury if you are unable to present your case properly and rationally in court. Thankfully, there exist divorce mediation lawyers in California.

California divorce attorneys can help you finalize the terms and conditions of your divorce amicably, without any acrimony that is typical of court cases. The time period of a mediated divorce is considerably shorter—lasting a few months as opposed to a couple of years. You get time to speak your mind and hear what the other person says. 

In short, divorce mediation in California is a thousand times better than a DIY divorce because it is faster, more convenient and less costly.

California family law attorneys on being friends with your ex

No reputed family law attorney in Los Angeles will ever suggest you to be friendly with your ex-spouse because the legal code says so. The thing is that if you do not want to maintain any relationship with your ex, then let it be. No one can force you. 

California family law attorneys are aware that although the law encourages the divorcing couple or separating parents to remain friendly with their ex-spouses after the court’s proceedings are over, it is by no means obligatory. 

Family law lawyers in California may suggest you that while it is invaluable to cooperate with your ex, especially if children are involved, it is very different from being friends.

Although society and law encourage the separated spouses to remain friends with each other, it is not always in the best interest of either the child or the spouses themselves.

Be friendly, but don’t confuse it being friends

It is not uncommon for people to be friendly with their ex. There is often a motive behind this; usually an unfinished business or feelings of guilt or even a hope for reconciliation. You may often overlook the fact that you separated in the first place because anger crept into your relationship and this anger is hard to set aside. Therefore it is advisable to believe that no friendship can ever be built on the ashes of a ruined relationship. 

Here’s why it’s a bad idea to be friends with your ex

• A healing process starts in mind after your relationship dies. Being friends with your ex can interfere with this. 

• It is more practical to focus on your children, if there are any, and the other person than keep on viewing your old spouse in them.

• It is easier to create a new identity as an individual if you have separated and are not friends with your ex. 

• You will need space to grieve the end of your once thriving and happy relationship. 

• The entire friendship-thing can appear forced to you if you are not ready for it. 

• You may confuse children by spending much time with your friends. It can make emotional separation harder.

Remain cordial, but being friends is a clear no

By no means should you be at war with your ex. But avoid being friends because of the reasons described just above.